After becoming a parent myself, i learnt that there is really no wrong or right way when it comes to parenting.
How much should my baby sleep?
What can my baby eat?
Is co-sleeping bad?
Should I give my baby paracetamol when he has a fever?
There are guidelines, yes, but no “right“answer to any of these questions, because every baby is different.
If you google any of these questions above, you would get hundreds of “correct” answers that advises (or tell, some sources are pushy and will make you feel like a shitty parent if you arent doing what they say) you on what should be done. Sometimes theres an explanation, sometimes theres none. Usually, half of these sources start with, research shows (yeah, i sometimes wonder where do they find so many babies to do all these research) or expert XXX says “blah blah blabity blah…you are failing cause you no follow our rules and guides”.
But why should we be made to feel like such failures when we are all trying to give our best to our baby? Am i a lousy mother because i cant spend 24hours a day, 365 days a year just cleaning poopy diapers, wiping drool, clean the house, run after an active toddler (while carrying a baby), cook, raise awesome picture perfect kids with good manners without losing my cool once too many times a week? Does it make you a terrible parent for picking up your child when he/she cries or a terrible one because you left the baby to cry? Some says Co-sleeping is beneficial to the baby as it regulates their heartbeat and temperature but there are also many warnings that states Co-sleeping could cause SIDS because some of us sleep like drunk elephants. What about a baby’s nutrition? Im all for breastmilk because of all the goodies in it thats super beneficial for our babies but formula fed babies are well and about all around us. Why should the internet make the mothers who are unable to breastfeed, for whatever reasons, feel horrible. Its not like they are feeding their baby drain water, get what i mean? No one is doing anything “right” but everyone is doing their best. Isnt that enough?
It is tiring as it is trying to decipher all the mixed information the internet is giving us these days. As parents, we should definitely bemore supportive of one another and encourage each other more positively on this journey.
There are no perfect parents, just parents who try their best. And believe us, most of us are really trying our butts off (note that i used the word most and not all because there are still that handful of you out there weird people who just didnt make the parent cut).
Here is to all our imperfect bests!