You know how when you look on the internet or scroll through FB and see all these beautiful perfect pictures of people with their babies and toddlers? Dont they look like they have it all so put together? Breeze in the hair, baby or toddler in one arm, stylish bag in the other and dressed like they had time to plan their outfit for a trip to the grocery market. After becoming a mother myself, I realized that it was all just a lie! HAHAHAHA. I guess there will be some of you who would disagree with me but honestly, I know in my case, it wasnt possible. And im sure sometimes when im out with Charles, i look a little crazy (feel a little crazy too) but thats okay. 😀
This is what really goes down in real life:
I dress Charles (change a diaper, put pants on for him, wear socks, change his shirt, put on shoes)
I dress myself ( i have 1 minute, before Charles starts to fuss because he wants to get of the door already. so sometimes my clothes dont match. :/)
I pack the essentials for a short trip to the grocery store.
I put Charles in a carrier, almost forget my keys, grab my keys, grab the baby bag and out the door we go.
I walk to the bus stop (now im covered in perspiration)
Charles is getting grumpy cause he is hot
The bus takes too long to come, Charles is starting to fuss
I start dancing around to keep him happy (imagine that, a women dancing around at the bus stop, yeahhhhhh.)
Bus is here, we get on the bus.
Charles wants to come out of the carrier because he just feels like it.
I have to constantly tell him not to touch the person next to me by saying “uncle doesnt like it Charles” (even though im pretty sure i dont know how uncle is feeling)
If im lucky, i get a window seat and tell him make up stories and point out the objects and describe them.
We alight from the bus and i fumble around to put him back into the carrier. Sometimes, i have to negotiate with him. So imagine me, a grown adult women negotiating with my toddler son who isnt even 2 years old. Guess thats why some people look at me like im crazy. :/
By the time i reached the grocery store, i already look like i have been out for 2 days in the wilderness. So lets just say that after groceries are done, i definitely dont have breeze in my hair and DEFINITELY dont look like im put together. HAHAHA
Parenting is not an easy job and most of the time you learn as you go. There are plenty of books and reading materials on how to parent BUT trust me, even if you have read ALLLLLL (its quite impossible that you did) of them, you’d still be a feeling your way through a dark room as a parent. For every question a parent have, there will be a 100 different answers. For the simple reason that no baby/toddler (nobody) is exactly the same. What worked for someone else, may not work for you. All these suggestions, answers and information just gives you something to work with or start from till you figure out what works best for you and your little one.
Another thing is when i see pictures of mothers who just gave birth and they look all glowy and beautiful, i thought i was going to have such beautiful pictures too! And i was WRONG. lol. I looked like a hobo who has not washed her faced for a couple of days. I have a close girlfriend who gave birth and looked like she was just doing a photoshoot with the hospital bed. SOOOOOO…guess i dont have that picture perfect look. HAHAHAH!
How my girlfriend look like mins after her daughter’s birth
How I look like mins after Charles’s birth
yup. im no glamourous mother.
And if you noticed, i seldom post pictures of myself up here on MLBB. The reason is because 90% of the time, i look like shit. And if i do post a picture, i try to make sure it looks decent enough that it wont hurt your eyes (at least i try, right?).
The reason why im writing this post is to let people know that it is okay! You dont have to look put together ALLLL the time. We, mothers, should not be made to feel as if we need to look our best or look like we know what we are doing ALL the time. Because the honest truth is, we are just learning. When we bring our kids out in public, we can only try to ensure that they will not disturb other patrons at restaurants, at the library, in the train or just at any public place. We try our best.
So the next time you are feeling a little crazy, know that its good thing. It means we are trying. 😀